3 Easy Ways (For Busy Parents) to Make Your Child Feel Loved Today
September 12, 2023
If you’re anything like me, you’re a mum who loves her children deeply but you also sometimes don't know what you’re doing! Parenting is tough and feeling out of your depth is so natural—there’s so many balls to juggle and sometimes it just feels like there’s not enough hands. Connection with our kids is so incredibly important and it’s easy to believe that it requires hours of time that we just don’t have. Here are three concepts that, even if you’re a time poor, busy parent like me, will deepen your relationship with your child!
1. It Just Takes 10
Sometimes it can feel like our children need all of us ALL the time and that can feel overwhelming. Not feeling like we are doing enough can lead to mum guilt. It becomes a never-ending, exhausting cycle that’s hard to get out of! There is no denying that our kids need our attention and they need time with us to feel connected and grounded. We naturally spend a lot of time with our children but what they crave is intentional, quality time. I read a concept by leading parenting expert Amy McCready that changed my whole mindset! It said that all our kids really need from us is 10 undivided minutes of attention every day to have a sense of belonging and significance. I found that really freeing and doable! I don’t have all the time in the world for each of my three kids but I do have 10 minutes.
The key is making sure that those ten minutes is undivided and is led by what your child would like to do (and obvs phone free!) It can look like playing a game together, reading a book, cuddling in bed, jumping on the trampoline—whatever your child enjoys doing! They need to have that time to connect with you and feel that they are the centre of your world, and 10 minutes is really all it takes.
It really changes everything! We trialled this in our family recently, and it made a massive difference! I could sense that my kids had their little love tanks full. This led to more content children who listened more and fought with each other less. It also meant I felt better as mum because I had that point of connection with each of my kids each day.
2. Say Something Wonderful About Your Child to Someone Else (and make sure your child overhears it)
Words are incredibly powerful! I’m sure we all say positive things to our children but did you know that it is extra powerful when your child overhears you say something positive about them to someone else? Science shows that it is 5x more effective! For some reason as humans, our brains respond better to hearing compliments about us rather than when we are told directly. We tend, even as children, to discredit the things said to us, especially if our behaviour has proved otherwise.
So next time you want to give your child a little confidence boost, talk about something wonderful about them and make sure they overhear it! I guarantee you’ll see a little smile on their faces.
3. Remember to Repair
As parents, we are human and there is going to be those moments where the frustration of parenting gets to us and we lose our cool. It’s inevitable really but the repair is what is the most important. The repair is that moment after where we say sorry to our kids—it is crucial. Neuroscience shows us that a child’s brain is very mouldable and new pathways are formed in the brain during that moment of repair. This brings so much hope to parenting! The repair is an opportunity to show them how to apologise and ask for forgiveness… kids do what they are shown. It’s a way to show them that even though you’re not perfect, that you love and want to connect with them.
Parenting will never be a walk in the park but these three easy concepts can help create an atmosphere in your home where your children feel secure and loved. Give them a go this week and see if makes a difference!
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